What can family and friends do to support breastfeeding?
“I always felt most comfortable if people around me smiled at me and then carried on as normal, without intruding. I feel that by doing this they acknowledge that the woman is breastfeeding, show they are happy and supportive and then leave her to get on with it as a normal activity.” This is a common comment from mums who are breastfeeding not just in public but in thier homes with guests or in other peoples houses.
Peoples Attitudes and reactions can make a huge difference to a breastfeeding mum.
Feeling supported is really important to any mum but especially a new mum. The lack of sleep and the huge life changes that she will be experiencing with her new baby, mean that she will be feeling quite vulnerable at times. The way you react and act with her when she is breastfeding will make a difference to how she feels.
Grandparents and other family members may like the idea of feeding the baby, however it is something which, some mothers, like the idea that only they can do this. It is thier time with thier baby. If a mother refuses to express or give formula in order to allow a family member to feed the baby then take this as no means no and do not pester. Giveing a bottle to appease relatives is not the support which a new mum needs.
Lack of sleep is also not good for milk production and therefore supporters should make sure that mum is able to sleep as and when the baby is asleep.
Mothers can express breastmilk to feed the baby if they have to be apart, for instance if they are going back to work. However, it is important to know that introducing bottles of formula milk to a breastfed baby reduces the amount of breastmilk their mother makes. It also reduces the health benefits of breastfeeding, especially if there is a history of allergies, eczema or asthma in the family. There is no need for babies to have bottles if a mother wants to continue breastfeeding for at least the first year. Babies can start using a beaker for water when they start taking solid foods.
Lots of new mums will share their experiences with other mothers that they meet with their new baby. But old friends are just as important and if you are supportive of breastfeeding you will help her immensely. If you've breastfed yourself, it may be useful to share your experience with your friend. But do not take offence if the mum does not use your advice. Remember all babies and all mums are different and not all things work for all people.
If you do not have children or did not breastfeed yourself, you may feel awkward or lacking in knowledge or experience to support a friend who has just had a baby and is starting to breastfeed. But remember that she is just feeding her baby the most natural way there is, so you don't need to feel any more awkward than if she was feeding her baby with Formula from a bottle.
Did you know?
Women are three times more likely to stop breastfeeding in the first two weeks if none of their friends breastfeed.
Almost 90% of women with friends who breastfed their children, also planned to breastfeed their own babies. Where women didn't have friends who breastfed, the percentage was reduced to 51%.
If you or anyone you know has any concerns regarding breastfeeding you can call or email us or visit our useful information for other alternatives who can offer you information and support to help you support someone to breastfeed successfully.
What can you do?
Don't be embarrassed if she is feeding in front of you - remember she is feeding her baby - you wouldn't be embarrassed if she had a bottle of formula in her hand.
If you walk into the room and discover she is breastfeeding, don't try to escape and pretend you hadn't noticed - ask her if she is happy with you in the room and if you can get her anything.
If she would prefer to be on her own, remember that she is learning a new skill and needs to build her confidence.
Sit next to her, rather than opposite her - that way you don't have to "avoid" looking at her while she is feeding, but can still have eye contact while talking.
Don't assume that she will want to be alone/in private to feed her baby - most women hate being locked away on their own - she will probably want to chat and talk to you as normal.
Offer to help, by making her more comfortable or getting her a drink or cutting up her meal so she can eat whilst her baby is. We all adapt to eating one handed but cutting food is impossible and we all would like a hot meal!!
Try not to ask questions like "how do you know whether the baby is getting enough milk" - she may start doubting herself and worry unnecessarily.
Don't ask when she is going to give up breastfeeding and "regain her body" - support her in her decision to breastfeed for as long as she wants to. Their body is more likley to return to pre baby shape more quickly if she breastfeeds rather than not.
Help out your friend by bringing lunch/dinner when you visit her or offering to pop out to the shops for her.
If you are going out together for lunch or dinner, then check beforehand whether the place you intend to go to is breastfeeding friendly and if you can book a table in a corner of a room to afford for more private feeding whilst at the table. If it isn't then go somewhere else.
Don't recount horror stories that you have heard from other people. If she tells you she is struggling, then gently suggest that she seeks help and mention that you have seen this website or one of the other useful information points.